Dawn

Staring down the barrel of my own personal history.

I slowly begin to understand a broader depth. Of chess, or go, there are volumes written on set plays or individual moves, and the philosophy or possibilities for what can come next.

Lately I've been feeling this sensation while painting that the underlying forms I create are innate- that I've made them many times before. Sometimes they might take awhile to re-surface or cycle through. The contradictory twist from top to bottom, pushing. Distant to minutely up close. The swoop. It has been said before by many teachers that we have only a few forms in us and that we constantly fight our repetitive nature. Or give in to it thoroughly. It can look vastly different each time in its' superficial appearance (it might be a picture of people playing croquet, or cars in a parking lot or blobs of color gestures), but the fundamentally pure form of the painting is still there regardless of subject.

And the issues never resolve! There is no argument. It is only a situation.