Dawn

Staring down the barrel of my own personal history.

I slowly begin to understand a broader depth. Of chess, or go, there are volumes written on set plays or individual moves, and the philosophy or possibilities for what can come next.

Lately I've been feeling this sensation while painting that the underlying forms I create are innate- that I've made them many times before. Sometimes they might take awhile to re-surface or cycle through. The contradictory twist from top to bottom, pushing. Distant to minutely up close. The swoop. It has been said before by many teachers that we have only a few forms in us and that we constantly fight our repetitive nature. Or give in to it thoroughly. It can look vastly different each time in its' superficial appearance (it might be a picture of people playing croquet, or cars in a parking lot or blobs of color gestures), but the fundamentally pure form of the painting is still there regardless of subject.

And the issues never resolve! There is no argument. It is only a situation.

Another start

I thought i would try to show the development of one of my paintings.

So I begin again. 2 canvases, both 3' x 2', primed and ready to go. I prefer a smooth surface, free of the canvas texture, so this takes 5 coats of primer and sanding. And of course, I don't have a specific image in mind as i start. Here is the evolution of one.

!!! Blurt- draw doodle, wipe it out and gesture again until the balance feels right.





Open blank spaces seem to have so much possibility, but I guess I'm the one to explore that field. Who looks at art with their imagination fill in the gaps these days? So I fill it with some color and substance. I think i want a slate blue painting...





There is a mystery to the pieces that I'll live with and eventually figure out what it might all mean. So I tweak the forms and colors for awhile..




Stepping stones. The seed and flower lurch out beyond their location, pulling their field closer while it seems like it should be a bit more settled.




My eye keeps wanting something to bring it back around into the composition and it would make sense that those (tiny) trees are marching off into the sunset/moonrise.



and now for some contemplation. cycles of life, decisions between options, things not quite seeming like what they are and some things that we'll never truly understand. Acceptance of abstraction might be the answer.

so on this note i think i should mention that there are often paintings that fall off or out of the linear series concept of art that we have been led to believe in.

Anticipations (bingo bar)

So this is the painting that i had been working on before the studio break in/laptop removal program. I had hoped to show the various stages of its creation, but that'll have to happen with another painting.

Anticipations (bingo bar), oil on canvas, 56 x 42 inches

process

So i thought i would share the steps of one of my current paintings. My process has always been one of discovery, with both form and 'content' evolving through trial and error. I'll start a composition with a notion of intent, but knowing that it can go any which way. Elements get added in or deleted. The decision to make a move can take weeks. Sometimes I'll hit a wall and have to make a brash move - cathartic destruction to open up a new avenue of creation.

So I am certainly not an illustrator, rarely crafting a preset image.

I find it is good to voice out loud what the painting seems to say to me and what i want it to say. Of course too much of that and ones paintings run the risk of becoming over simplified and locked down.

2 half tables in a bar. An fun but awkward space, with a sense of imminence. A door comes and goes, only to return again. Lights with numbers (i'll call it the bingo bar maybe) to suggest possibility, that your number has come up.

This is where ones community comes in. We need others to ask questions that we cannot think to ask. Whether the questions are relevant or not is an other issue. Today i ask myself, 'where do i want my eye to settle, and how do i want to achieve that?' Maybe that isn't necessarily important, but it could be so i should consider it. How can i vary the physicality to make a stronger impact?

and the list goes on.



And then we had a studio break in. I had hoped to insert some previous states of the current painting, but they went with my laptop. argh...

and life goes on....

minimalism

Fine Tuning Sensibilities

My latest explorations have brought up an issue that I haven't verbalized lately- that of scale. Scale is one of those words in painting that has many meanings. I wont go after the dictionary to bore you with the standard definitions, but one idea is the size of the representation relative to its borders- say a small dot that represents a city, or a picture of a flea that fills the frame. Another more obvious idea is the physical size of the piece. There is a tendency of reproductions to flip the relationship of size perceived- small paintings seem large, large seem small. So i've begun a 'large' painting (really what i'd like to call medium- but there are some practical constraints in my world) and there is something about its forms that make it feel quite small- in person even. Smaller than it is. It feels more like 14 inches instead of 56.

I ramble about this sense of space in painting because the abstract pieces that i'm working on are very much about that. And presence. Through looking at these minimalist abstract paintings, i find my senses becoming more fine tuned. One compositiion might feel 'drifty', another somehow 'intent', and another 'exclamatory'. The elements, despite being a simple line or patch of paint, seem to have independent character. Humble, snarky, I don't know how else to explain it. sleepy, curious, watchful. It is something one might only notice after spending much time with them- they aren't illustrations after all, so they won't hit you over the head with intentional content.

photos to follow.

pure abstraction

Well, as long as I'm presenting some of the experiments and side projects, here is some pure abstraction. I've often played with what I'll call 'straightforward abstraction' over the years. My initial eureka moment (when I new I had to do art) was primarily about an abstract construct of space. I could say it is also about a state of flux between related parts within a greater whole. Whatever it is, it isn't easy to describe with words- hence the need for visual art. So here is an example of the latest incarnation of the idea- I think of these as a triptych, and hope that one can get a sense of communication between elements in each panel.

recent experiment

And another. Well, you have to read the previous post to know what it is 'another of'.



But i have to admit, picasa does make it easy to crop and post straight from my raw library. So this one is all graphic- taped off edges for a stark feel, but contrasted with defiantly quirky brush strokes. Blocks of flat and impersonal paint vs. variegated and detailed areas. I have no idea if it'll take me anywhere with my main body of work. Perhaps it'll end up on the alter ego site... more about that some other day.

 

experiments

So, one of the beauties of being full time is that i now have the freedom to devote some energy to experiments that have little to do with my main body of work. I know that sometimes these can influence my main themes and ideas, and allow more fresh discoveries. It is a healthy process which i hadn't allowed myself much of over the past few years. With less pressure to make something conform to a set of rules, anything can happen. Of course, if that's all I created, it would be an uncohesive pile of random ideas.

Hmnn. That brings up a notion: most bodies of work are built up upon a base of a self referential history (i dont have the right word at the moment), a set of beliefs and ideas that can crumble without a context. The experiments dont have that, and therefore are somewhat immune from criticism.

Anyway,Here is one from awhile back. Thick slabs, dense brushy field, tenuous lines and an advertisement.

And this is also an experiment testing picasa software. from photolibrary to blog in 1 click. unfortunately, the posting window lacks a few of the normal buttons- for inserting extra images and saving as a draft. so it goes.



 

Blast away

Well, i think i managed to finagle a shift. The struggle to bring some of the pieces that were mostly finished but not yet cherished has finally brought some reward, and relief. The colors that i had were causing me some grief- decidedly foreign to me, i would describe them as 'particularly feminine'. It's vaguely embarrasing sometimes- after all, i'm a macho man ; ) I had arrived at a deep yet chalky purple that made me want to wretch. A mawkish combinatation that could be used for a purpose, but inappropraiate for the painting. At least it turned out to be a good undercolor for the greengrey that it had ended up with.





Another i had received early complements on, and felt compelled to leave. But in the end, it's my painting that i've got to live with having created, and i knew it needed a push. So i made it a bit more intense and brought out more contrast in color and tone. And now i think i could live with it (though it would look fabulous on one of your walls, i'm sure!).





And I might still have a few more tweaks in store.

Working Processes

When I walk through the studio door fresh in the morning, I usually look at the work on the walls and write a cut list of things that I think need to happen in a painting. It can be a bit like this:

Black blacker
highlight flower
counter circle bottle
shadow
dark red table edge.

In doing this, I find it easier to get up and motivate with a brush, and I don't have to remember the flash of inspiration that happened to get squashed somewhere in the routine of the day. My list also has mundane things like clean table, prime canvas, email, add link, choose 4 for Friday deadline. Some lists take a few days, and it is just another dayjob after all. And it's mine to create and crack the whip.

The throes

Often I find that a painting will reach a point where it looks almost finished- as in the composition works and it is basically 'painted', yet for whatever reason lacks in 'punch'. Figuring out what to do next is often a long, cumbersome and drawn out period. It can take me weeks or months to discover or decide what the missing element is. Sometimes it's best to give up and accept the piece for what it is, while other paintings demand that extra mile of effort. One of the hardest things to accept is that it's often going to get worse before it gets better. Nobody really likes to look at their creation and think 'you sure are ugly- and a bore! what was I thinking?!'

So what next? destruction in search of creation? I can only hope that each additional element augments the visual/emotional impact of the painting, or that it might lead to a moment of revelation. The rewards can be great, but sometimes you will be left with an overworked, tired and lifeless waste of spent materials.


Somewhere along the line....

Direction? graphic

I want to believe that it's hard to believe that we're still waiting for DSL to be hooked up at the studio after first placing an order 14 days ago, but then again, it is TPC (the phone company) i'm talking about so it should be expected. It has been a minor irritant and a distraction (there i just had to get that out)

Painting is still going well.
Recent notions:
I've been slowly heading in a more graphic direction for quite a few years- harder edges, clearly defined colors etc, but i'm not entirely sure that's where i want to go. It seems that some of the energy and depth of an artwork gets lost to the ends of making an image. Still, i've made a point of making the paintings do something that is near impossible to capture on film or pixels- Layered translucent colors and the sensation of brush strokes in paint never translate very well into reproduction. That is good for the pleasant surprise of seeing the pieces in person vs an image of the piece- something that i'm not so sure happens with much of the work that i see coming out of this decade that is purely graphic and flat and perhaps intended to be reproduced. Usually these works strike me as drawing or illustration or graphic design. So here is an image of a recently finished painting...

Compulsion Entranced, oil on canvas 36" x 24"

Next comes my issue with how an image is made... through a long struggle to find itself, or simply draw it and fill in the bits and done?

Technically goofing off?

This morning I woke up in no particular mood to rush off to the studio, instead having a list of odds'n'ends that I could do on the backend of my production - database entry and the likes. Somehow, I ended up surfing (surprise!) and found myself trying to figure out how to get a map application to work for me.

After many hours of tweaking and tearing my hair out trying to figure out a specific detail (which I never did really solve) here it is....

http://miscellaneum.com/ajax-yahoomaptest.html


It's much like a google map in that you can click and drag and have the map unfold as you need more. I've added specific locations from where I painted some of my recent landscapes. Maybe I'll even update it, or do some of that dreaded back end work to catch up on entering more from the past.

...

And then I find there is another prebuilt service which let me put this together in an almost painless matter of minutes, and it uses the google map system.

http://miscellaneum.com/pixagogomap.html

Return

Now I can say that the beginning is beginning. Vanessa and I just returned from a short 10 day trip to London and Paris, where we reconnected with friends, drew in pubs while drinking proper English beer, and experienced acres and miles of fantastic old master painting. It is sad that we don't have more old European masters here in San Francisco, or America for that matter (excepting the Met), so we gorged on it. The National Gallery, Louvre, Musee d'Orsay, and the old Tate. If we had more time I would've like to have visited the Tate Modern, but I figure we have access to the type of art they have on exhibit. So with all that fresh in my eyes and washed over my artsoul, my excitement to get going again is making me bounce off the walls.

Walls. Our studio had been the site of a benefit auction, so I had cleared out my space to allow for their presentation. Upon returning, I decided (despite the urge to jump in) to make the most of the clear space and refinish my rather thrashed walls. Holes filled, skimcoated and painted, I then chose an new configuration of the various sizes I'm starting in order to break up the space.

And in between coats, we signed up for dsl, so we'll be able to research and post from the studio. So hopefully next week I'll be able to post an image, so this isn't all blather and no glitzy images.

Floodgates opening

Bliss. Rolling along, I'm on day 4 of being my own boss and it's great.

I had been staring at 3 blank canvases for the last few weeks trying to get an idea of what i wanted to paint. The previous paintings had been a struggle- both in terms of the imagery and the physical materials refusing to dry. I'd gone through the cycles of loving, despising, enjoying, and accepting the three for what they had become (actually, one of the previous 3 is still open to some destruction/creation), but the journey had left me a little intimidated by the unknown of the paintings that were yet to begin. I had also made 3 smaller explorations in abstraction which were hanging next to the larger blanks, influencing where i thought i might want to go. I ended up having to remove them from the mix on the wall. (more about my acceptance of pure abstraction another time)..

So finally, after leaving the dayjob, i get a sense of relief and satisfaction. I started in on one with a rough sketch. The composition seemed right, and so i started blocking in the colors (lately i've made a move to breaking up my composition and working with more high key set of colors). Somehow, this painting seems to be coming together surprisingly well- almost too easy. But maybe i deserve an easy paint this time around.

Inspired, I begin composition number 2, and maybe number 3.

In the meantime, I've finished prepping a slew of canvases for landscapes and smaller studio works, and have started a design for a postcard to promote the landscapes to people who ask me about them while i'm working.

pictures to follow (or precede given the recent to older format)

Studio intro

So here's a picture of my studio space. I've been lucky enough to share a large studio with 3 other artists- Dana DeKalb, Tina Vietmeier, and Andrea Antonaccio. Dana and Tina walk through my area to get to theirs, so i always try to leave them a path through my 'floor clutter' (more about my relationship to the ground plane later). Needless to say, there is lots to dodge on any given day.

We don't have internet access there yet, which has been a good thing for making paintings only. Now however, the studio is also my office. I promised myself i would get better with emailing friends and associates, as well as constructively researching opportunities to show the work. So hopefully soon i'll be posting from the studio as it happens.

So begins another journey

I quit my comfortable dayjob at Hackett Freedman Gallery where i was a prepartor for the last 3.5 years. I learned much and it was a great experience, but now it is time to focus on my creative career. I've been really good at going from the day job to the studio and making art, but i've failed to promote my paintings and do the things that can help my future as an artist.

This will be my art diary, exposed to those who are curious about what goes on in the studio. I'll share various stages of paintings as they happen along the way, as well as some of the other concerns of being an artist.... like what do i wear now that i dont have to blend in ; )

And of course, i have to learn how to use blogger...
So here is painting i thinking of donating to an aids benefit auction, if they'll accept it.


"Flirting Disaster" oil on canvas, 2006, 14 x 11 inches